CHAPTER 11 YEAR 38, MONTH 08 NARRATOR: JOHN The movie didn't do well in the US. But Australia went bonkers for it. That might explain how she found me. I got an email from a woman in South Australia. "I was knocked senseless, and moved to tears, when I watched your film. When Firebird and Mad Skelli drive back to O'Sydney, they have a conversation. Hearing that conversation was the most surreal moment of my life. "Mad Skelli shares a very personal detail of her life. That detail is something which is also true of my life. It's so personal and painful that I don't even like to put it down in words. "I realize it's possible that you found me on the internet and decided to plagiarize my life. But I couldn't get it out of my head that maybe we'd met in another world and you were still out there waiting for me. "My name is Kelli Shackleford. Kelli S. I think I'm Mad Skelli." She included a photo. Holy wow yes. It was her. Kelli came to the states to attend Wasteland Weekend that year. I bartered for three ice creams and the two of us went up to the memorial. Kelli surprised me with a gift. A music box. I turned the crank. It played Close To You by The Carpenters. The first time I'd visited the memorial I'd asked myself, why do wastelanders celebrate death and destruction? We don't. We celebrate the acceptance of death, and the empowerment that it brings. I used to be attached to my life. Being attached to my life made me constantly fear its loss. The fear of losing everything used to make me back out, when I should have gone all in. Giving up my attachment to life is what allowed me to live. Kelli took out a pencil and wrote on the memorial. NIKKI DEARNE SHACKLEFORD BELOVED TWIN OF MAD SKELLI I took the pencil from her and wrote my own message. DEANNA BINNS ATTACHMENT LEADS TO SUFFERING We turned to face the campsites in the distance. On a count of three we screamed, "Fuck you!" A thousand tiny people heard us. A thousand tiny voices shouted back. "Fuck you!" THE END Want to see this as a motion picture? Visit youareawaited.com.